Ya’ll Say Brave, But I’m Really Just Lazy

So a few weeks ago I did a thing. For me it isn’t a big thing, but based on the responses I have gotten since, apparently it is. I cut my hair. Like, really cut my hair.

I knew I was going to do it for a while honestly but I wasn’t in any hurry. I was having fun getting random cuts, secure in the knowledge that at some point it would go entirely. I have always wanted a mohawk, for instance. This felt like the perfect time. Why the hell not? I’m just another 38 year old mother of two with a mohawk, nothing to see here. It’s just hair, right? I also tend to do random and impulsive things without giving them much thought. The night that I was meeting friends and walked by a tattoo shop and decided to get my nose pierced. Right then. No regrets.

Nothing to see here. Just a middle aged woman living out her mid life crisis.

But maybe a little background:

My Mom went back to college when I was in high school. She did a study abroad in London one summer. I met her there and stayed in the apartment with the other college students, I was 16. Hard life, right? They would go to class during the day and I would wander the streets of London. In the evening I would go out with the other students (my mom wasn’t much for the nightlife). Man, do I have stories. I was taken to a underground (literally) movie theater and watched a really interesting film about a couple who met through their love of BDSM and pony play. It wasn’t horribly graphic or anything but it was a bit of a shock to my Southern system. But, I digress. Although those stories are fun I usually save them for when I have had one to many glasses of red wine.

This is a picture of me on my way to prom.

One day I wandered in to a salon for a hair cut. I must have had shoulder length hair at the time. I told the man that I was traveling and needed an easy to maintain cut. As I sat there in this dirty little salon that I felt was so cool at the time but would probably now feel like it was trying to hard, the man cut all of my hair off. Short, I mean short short. It was just gone. He told me to go to the shop and buy a tub of Vaseline and put a little in my hair to spike it. Cheeky, right! I don’t know what kind of reaction he expected but I honestly thought “OK. Well, I wanted easy”. I wore my hair short for the rest of high school and into college.

Cut to present day ( I edit a few videos for the YouTube channel and all of a sudden I’m talking like I’m in “the biz” or something. WTF)…..

The decision to cut it short again came suddenly. I woke up one day just after Christmas and it struck me that if I had to fix or worry about my hair one more time I would scream. In all fairness I was going through a lot at the time. January was THE WORST! That stupid lingering flu that wouldn’t go away, I think everyone I know had some form of it. I just snapped.

I made the next available appointment to get it cut.

Let me tell you, one less thing to worry about in my morning routine is the best. I have adopted a new motto in life in the last year: If it causes stress and it is within your control, do whatever it takes to remove the stress.

I’ll give you some examples:

Can’t ever seem to find matching socks for the kids? Go buy a million pairs of the exact same sock. Problem solved.

Kids always fighting over the purple bowl? Get another purple bowl. Done.

Kids want yogurt for dinner? Whatever. Not worth the fight.

Constantly annoyed at the fact that you have to take extra time in your morning to attempt to tame hair that will annoy you throughout the day and end up in a clip anyway ( when you can find a clip. Where do those bastards go?) ? Cut it all off.

Look, ya’ll. Being a mom is hard. We have a million things to think about all the time. There is always that one annoyance that affects your life in the most stupidly frustrating way possible. For me it was my hair, so I fixed the problem. But the reactions were crazy! My friends and even casual acquaintances kept calling me brave. “Oh I wish I were brave enough to cut my hair short”. “I have always wanted to wear my hair short but I just don’t have the guts” Seriously. I was amazed.

I quickly realized that many people really need their hair. Maybe to them it’s a sign of beauty. I honestly believe that women are cultural ingrained with the belief that hair is linked to being a female and to have short hair would make them less feminine and there for less attractive. But don’t get me started on cultural gender norms and their negative effect on the world and for the love of pete don’t get me started on the patriarchy.

Ahhhh. The freedom!!

But let me tell you, this was not a bold act of feminism. This was not bravery. For the record, I am lazy. I am busy. And for me (I know not for everyone) this was a quick and easy way to simplify my day to day life.

I have decided to Marie Kondo (I love that this is a verb now) my entire life and that curly mop of uncontrollable mess on my head did not bring me joy.

Got any simple ways you have found to streamline your day and remove some of the frustrating bullshit?
I’d love to hear them!!!

2 Comments on “Ya’ll Say Brave, But I’m Really Just Lazy

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