A lot has changed in the last three years. I’ve gotten divorced, lived in a caravan, landed a pretty decent job, found an amazing house to rent, and just last week ended that job. Oh, and stopped going to the gym, started eating eggs occasionally and discovered that I am pan (that’s the first time I have seen that in writing and it feels kinda weird). I really need to update all my “about me” descriptions.
Among all these changes I have learned a few things about myself. Mostly, I am strong as hell. I may have killed my liver in the process but I have managed to survive more than I ever thought possible. I am not bragging, I am only writing this because I have come to another realization: all women are capable of accomplishing anything. Through this journey I have met so many women who have survived through the darkest of times and, not only managed to come out the other side, but are thriving. We are strong and capable of anything and we need to come together and stop letting people tell us otherwise. *** Envision Melissa gingerly stepping off her soapbox.
What else have I learned? I am an extrovert to my core. I never would have thought that, I have always been the one reading in the corner and getting overwhelmed in crowds. Maybe it’s because having kids kinda forced me to step outside of my comfort zone on a daily basis, who knows? The realization how much of an extrovert I am didn’t come during the first Covid lock down (I say first now because I am pretty sure there will be another) although lock down nearly killed me. I don’t want to talk about Covid right now. I handled working from home while homeschooling two kids in different grades in a different language so horrifically shamefully that it deserves its own post and will surely make you feel better about your parenting. What gave me the most incite is my previous job. I had worked there part time and loved the people and the environment so when I was given a chance to work full time there I jumped at it. The job however went from projects and working creatively with lots of people to emails. Nonstop emails. Mind numbing, soul crushing computer work. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it is perfect for some people but not for me. It felt like the people were taken away and replaced by two giant screens caging me away from the outside world. Maybe it would have been different if not for Covid, I’m not sure and it doesn’t matter. There was no way to get back to the job that I loved, so when my contract ended I decided that it was best for me to go explore the horizon, ride off into the sunset, to use all the strength I found in myself to create a life where I can use my skills and love of people in the best way I can manage. So I said goodbye to the team members who I love and left, grateful for the opportunity and for all that I was able to learn.
So here I sit, once again in interesting times.
So whats next?
Honestly, I’m not exactly sure. I thought a good start would be to go back to my roots and my beloved blog. My kids are older now and we don’t go out much anymore but I have some places we have been that I would love to share with everyone. But, like life, the content will change a little. I will also be going over all the old blogs one by one. Most are in desperate need of an upgrade and some I may get rid of completely. I hope no one minds.
I chose to title this little debutante style post “Whats Normal Anyway” because I have been wishing for my life to find some sort of normalcy for ages now and I have finally given up. There is no normal. My life is chaotic and imperfect and I doubt that will ever change. So we move forward, unsure of the outcome but sure of the fact that we are strong and brave and as long as we have people in our lives that we love and who love us in return, everything will be ok.